HANOI ..planes, boats and people carriers 🛩🛳🚌

Fuck my life .. I flip from love my life to fuck my life on a regular basis … I am up too early and race around like a crazy chick muttering under my breath. I hate cleaning a million times, all ready for house inspection,he says between 10 & 11 and we all know he will rock up at 11 .. he does & greets me with oh there is a slate off your roof .. me .. really ahhhh good that’s for you to sort .. a plus to renting .

The dream business my bestie and I have started, nurtured, sweated blood & tears over has been leased out. We have officially called it a day .. I have a burning desire to see the world before my number is called … we, Mr Lover Lover, daughter & I decided on a whim to head off to meet son in Vietnam 🇻🇳 and travel for 3.weeks … happy funny times … starting with the check in at Manchester airport Emirates Air www.emirates.com ( Emirates win hands down for me every time )a great girl on check in tells me reason I had not been able to check in on line is because the flight is 35 overbooked … grim … we manage to get seats together and throw our cling filmed rucksacks on the scales.Ten kilos each, whoop whoop. She asks about hand luggage, I laugh and say mine’s heavy as I have my triumph bras www.uk.triumph.com in there and my swimsuit. A tankini never a bikini .😩Also Triumph .. my more than ample boobs being my best asset I cannot bear the thought of my luggage going missing and rocking up in Asia where the average bra size is 22AAA trying to work out what the hell to do … she shared my humour and thoughts and I reckon it paid off … last passport check before boarding ….those four words you long to hear … take a left turn… high five sista upgrade 💃business class to Dubai…
Talking of ample boobs I was very fortunate when diagnosed that my Consultant at that time obviously thought the same and his words when discussing options were “well we don’t want to get rid of those do we “… I have to say if that happens in the future I have no problem with it and Mr Lover Lover doesn’t either, so I was able to opt for surgery to remove tumour and have a very miss shaped & scarred right boob… hence my Love for triumph bras, the side seams are perfect for my scaring.. in a bra you can not tell I have had surgery … high five to Consultant his sewing skills…they are to be recognised. He clearly attended home economics class at school !!

We were escorted to our seats (with our tatty hand luggage)  … more like a sofa than a seat ..having travelled a lot this year in cattle class … I was like a child playing with the uppy and downy buttons , opening and closing the window blinds by remote , moving the seat to every position possible…I leaned forward and muttered to daughter ” ffs don’t you dare sleep on this flight this is a once a lifetime experience ” and say yes to everything …. Like three glasses of Veuve Clicquot champers . I was like a giggling teenager probably much to the annoyance of other full fare paying passengers…. also we were dressed like back packers daughter and I in Salomon speed cross trainers and walking trousers …loved the free perfume/hand lotion in the loos too! Mr Lover Lover even had two rusty nails & oysters .. ugh & there is an actual bar!!!

Whilst I was having treatment …as much as I am a traveller and always have had huge wanderlust I didn’t want to be far from home, a bit like a homing pigeon but it was a strange feeling. I was pretty much grounded for 6 months apart from the odd trip to Chester with the bestie … one time getting completely stuck in snow and having to be rescued we were laughing so much we could hardly stand up in the snow … our Mumma’s thought we were very irresponsible,we had gone in separate cars and they had left early, we carried on shopping .. take risks live life !.

We arrived in Dubai middle of the night and headed to gate to wait for connecting flight to Hanoi. Sat and watched a Vietnamese man load about 30 packets of Werthers Original butter candies into his hand luggage wtf? ….Oh dear karma kicked me right up the arse, cattle class… at its very best crammed in, not a space for anything, every overhead locker brimming with werthers, slow cookers, pyrex dishes … grim flight not even a USB to charge my phone …. I nearly meltdown when I get to 20%.

During and following chemo they do say it makes your brain fuzzy. I managed to break a phone , loose my purse and break a laptop. My memory is affected. Most definitely I can not remember words. I constantly say thingy and on the side when asked where something is … or is is it because I am nearing 50 … fuck how did that happen oh and I say fuck a lot as you know.

Touchdown Hanoi..(the boy arrives in two days ). (He’s the one who suggested the trip. Rings up and says Jen fancy Vietnam for a few weeks like its Liverpool we are meeting … we book flights for when he says then he messages oh yeah I won’t be there then I will be in Malaysia with mates ??? Will be there a few days later .. wtf !! Kids eh !) Crossing the road is impossible in Hanoi unless you are born on the other side. We spent ages trying and finally started walking right behind locals until we got the hang of it .. walk slowly don’t run is the answer . It’s 36deg and 100% humidity … we went on an overnight boat trip to Ha Long Bay ….I laughed a lot as the itinerary stated cooking class we ignored it ….preferring to take advantage of happy hour until dinner was served de-constructed along with a gas burner … we had no idea what to do…. giggled, had another beer and then they came to our aid and showed us how to assemble the spring rolls …. following this is our worst nightmare … karaoke… Vietnamese style … Mr Lover Lover got up to leave and they thought he was doing a turn … daughter and I under the table hysterical complete laughter meltdown 😂

One time whilst about to have a scan I was asked if I minded a student nurse (now I don’t mind any student but my veins were precious . Still are ) putting a cannular in. I said no but the senior nurse over ruled and student proceeded to pop a cannular in … during the scan you have iodine injected so radiographer gets clearer picture … anyone reading this who has had a scan with iodine knows the weird sensation that passes through your body … it feels like you are wetting yourself … halfway though scan the cannula popped and I had to go to the chemo day unit and have it re done …. pissed off to say the least … back in scan and this is whilst I am wearing a wig … scan done into changing room get dressed out of the delightful NHS gown ( which I never know which way to put on!!) there is a man on a trolley waiting to go to scan room and is clearly poorly being very sick … I don’t do vomit … in my haste to get dressed and get the fuck out of dodge I knocked my hand which immediately started pumping blood ..I had nothing to stem the flow, grabbed the curtain to yell for some help ( with no clothes on) in doing so knocked my wig half off leaving a bald half head hanging out of curtain … for some reason the poor guy being sick was so shocked at the sight of me he promptly stopped and stared in utter disbelief … there is a moral here … when I say no I bloody mean NO !
Halong Bay.. for me it was too busy with boats all over and too many people but that I guess is tourism . Food delicious and so fresh. We had a taxi from Hanoi which was a people carrier shared with three others and a driver who I think was trained by Lewis Hamilton… there was a young Irish couple and an Indian well dressed gentleman in the front, us at the back.I coped ( I am a nervous passenger which I have to say is much worse since diagnosis ) for most of the journey closing my eyes and muttering until one manoeuvre and I yelled FFFFUUUUCCCCKKKK completely forgetting the Indian gentleman, and the Irish lad just said ahhhh my thoughts exactly !! ..pass me a cider …. cariad mawr till next time xxx