Cambodia to Vietnam and Homeward bound

Hello all… this is re-winding a bit but I’ve tried to write in a sequence for the last 6 months or so…please bear with me . :))

Son being the most adorable 19yr old traveller who knows far more than I do about travelling … yeah right …. decided we get the bus back to Hoi Chi Minh from Phnom Penh … visa check , passport check , tuk tuk to bus depot full of hippy travellers and me trying to get wifi … on bus guy comes round asking for passports … all in order ready for the off … comes back to son says you “you off ” ehhhhh .. he’s only gone and got the wrong fucking visa from Oz. He has a visa which you can only enter Vietnam via airport and he was promptly kicked him off the bus ….. waaaahhhh wahhhh I was in utter panic my boy disappearing down the road with his rucksack no contact he was going to try to get to airport and get a flight …. so can you imagine … Mumma muttering fuck my life , million things going through my head …bus was going at about 100mph it’s going to crash , his plane is going to crash , he won’t get to airport , his tuk tuk will crash , he will get hit by buffalo and on it goes .. daughter thinks it’s hilarious and just puts headphones on and goes to sleep .. I am frantically trying to connect to bus wifi bingo it works message the boy who thank fuck is in some ways more savvy than me and he has a local sim in his phone… replies he’s in airport and has a flight later on, will meet us back in Ho Chi Minh ( not been hit by a buffalo flying pig or anything else !!) I am sure I am not the only one who has these thoughts about precious offspring . Get the right bloody visa next time grrrrr!.

I am at my happiest when we are all together I don’t stress …. I sat on that bus with tears rolling down my face thinking how precious these offspring are and how lucky I am to be able to do wonderful trips like this with them but having a man down made me a bit emotional Another thing about a diagnosis like I have had makes every second precious with the kids …. but let me tell you I am not a Mother Earth type or a Mummy who doesn’t loose it .. they will tell you I go off like a bottle of prossecco but soon calm down .. I still bollock them, shout at them , mutter fuck my life at them. I am me. They know I am a bit crazy and laugh at me a lot… which is something we have done when discussing my treatment,we laugh,we joke about it …. I don’t ever want the laughter to stop. Have told them when I am gasping my last breaths they have to make me laugh !! .. kids they make u smile and scream in the same ten minutes …

Back in Hoi Chi Minh sadly it’s the last night all together… now I have to be really strong and composed. The boy is off to a beach resort for another week on his own after we have left … he warns me Jen no tears now just stay calm and don’t get hysterical … fucking hell … wait until you have kids love and you are saying goodbye not knowing when or where you will see them again it’s ain’t easy ….I was in NZ earlier this year which I will write about soon .. we flew to Sydney and met up with the boy for 5 wonderful days .. we had booked a taxi to the airport & he needed a lift to station .. he was meeting his mates in The Blue Mountains … I said don’t worry our cab will drop u off at station it’s on route … picture this we all ready … emotions high taxi pulls up I ask can u drop son off at station NO he says what No No No it’s too busy … I walked back to the boy said he would have to get a cab himself … this was my final few mins with him .. I could have happily stabbed the taxi driver … I was so distressed I got into his stupid fucking cab and burst into hysterical tears and I sobbed and sobbed eventually he asked what was up I couldn’t speak Mr Lover Lover said we are heading back to UK the boy is here travelling and u have just made us say goodbye unexpectedly ( I thought I would have another ten mins at least !!) he was so apologetic he apologised over and over even offered to go back and get him … then said he has a son same age and his wife would be very pissed with him when he tells her about this ….me and her both …. anyway there is a upside to this ditty … go into Sydney airport and I was still sobbing .(fucking hormones !) … I was stopped 4 times by police/security/aircrew asking if I was alright … think they thought Mr Lover Lover was trafficking me !!! …. on check-in stewardess asks what’s wrong Mr Lover Lover says ahhh she’s left her 18yr old son behind in Sydney … she promptly filled up and gave us three seats between us … high five sista clearly a Mumma ! . I got over it pretty quickly as we were heading for Bali for two weeks to stay with some of my gorgeous friends … more about that trip again .

We had what felt like the last supper I hate these days where you almost wish them away as it’s easier to deal with once the time comes …it’s the anticipation of being sad I hate …I struggle with having scans because I get so anxious about the results and even though I can not ever fault my care and treatment I hate waiting days for results … I flick between fucking love my life to fuck this could be it and I have myself dead and buried within seconds of each other I hate it .. that waiting is a killer for me … I am completely inpatient I fidget and can not keep still much to everyone’s despair …. on a journey in car to Scotland recently daughter in back says fuck sake Mother keep still .. shoe on other foot !!! God knows how Mr Lover Lover drives with me sat beside him constantly moving ! Then once scan results are all A ok I am like whey hey it’s party time love my fucking life …good to go living 100mph for another year …

Last supper, all lying on our bed in hotel room laughing, joking but all knowing it’s coming to an end.

A wonderful trip full of ups and downs, cocktails , noodles , tuk tucks but best of all us all being together ❤️…we leave the boy in the hotel foyer lots of hugs and yes tears am afraid but not hysterical like last time … keep reminding myself he’s so happy, living life, travelling , young free and single I can not be sad about that ! Daughter was fine takes it all in her stride .. high five to her ! They are so close in age only 16 months between them but very different 🙂 . Going back to me not being able to stay still long haul flights can be tricky but I have the key …… lots of experimenting I have got it bang on ….pop two http://www.Nightnurse.co.uk capsules just before boarding … by time meal is served I have a cheeky little bottle of red, just about manage to stay awake to eat and bingo I am fast asleep for 7+hours not a peep …. high five night nurse & red wine 🍷!!!.

Making these trips is very important to me as I feel the memories I hold are so dear and hope kids will always look back on fun times not how many pairs of shoes I have or the new sofa or kitchen ! Buy that airline ticket 😉.

Back in North Wales which takes my breath away every time I come home ….daughter has huge change of plan and has been offered a scholarship (chance of a lifetime) at http://www.myddelton.co.uk to do her A levels in a school in its second year and all because Mr Hay is now working as the Director of Development & Performance ….although it’s North Wales it’s too far to travel ( with her Auto Immune Hepatitis she does get tired ) she’s a week late starting which isn’t easy so we have two days to frantically uniform shop … with bestie and her daughter who is off to uni we have a great day of changing rooms , laughter , primark fuelled by lots of coffee ! Intermittent messages from the boy who I think is suffering from a little bit of home sickness for the first time 😦 in between shopping am talking to him on wifi calling … where the fuck would we be without the internet … takes me back to when I was 21 living in Doha , Qatar there was no internet, no mobiles I bought Mumma Bear & Dad a fax machine one Christmas ….they were a new fan dangled gadget back then and we had one. I still remember my villa and where the fax was, hearing the ring and there swiftly delivered a hand written fax from Mumma with all sorts of news from buying a lottery ticket ( was new back then !) to brother being fined for a bad tackle in football to a recipe for lettuce soup !! .. how do I remember….I still have some of the faxes in a cookery book !! … :))) ….. Time for a little glass of Merlot .. Cariad Mawr xx